04 May 2007

My Question

My question is - What is life all about?

When I was young I thought life was a thrill

but time persists and with it growing doubt.


Decisions made, some good, some not, throughout

my destined fate, my fortune or freewill.

My question is - what is life? All about


me people pray and sing and sin and shout

some fight for freedom, some protest, some kill

time. I persist and with my growing doubt


advance my quest for what I am without.

Yet answers I’ve been given don’t fulfil

my question: Is what Is; Life’s all about


living; Work-hard play-hard; Check-in check-out;

and others say: we’re here to do God’s will.

But time persists. And with this growing doubt


increasing need fades in but won’t fade out.

I know there is a reason and yet still

my question is what? Is life all about

time persisting with my growing doubt?




4 comments:

carole said...

Such a pity that you missed doing villanelles last week!
Janine, you seem to be preoccupied with the big questions of life which takes in religion and 'Not a Good Friday'. I think you may be interested to watch a video of Jude Simpson reciting her own poem which Kamsin has posted on her blog for Poetry Thursday. It's very contemporary.
http://thefarsideofthesea.blogspot.com/2007/05/not-cut-out-for-religion-by-jude.html

Red said...

I hadn't consciously made the link between my prose writing and my poetry writing, but you're right, the subject matter has crossed over. When I started this I was thinking about obsessions (as suggested in the poetry thursday task) and a subject big enough to warrant the repeats of the form...it seemed an obvious one as the 'big question' seems to be on everyone's mind at some point or other so I went with that as a universal theme.
Thanks for the ref to Kamsin's blog and the Jude Simpson poem - really enjoyed it!!!
I think this villanelle looks like it is trying too hard. The change in punctuation of the first refrain throws out the rhythm of the poem which I am not convinced is a good thing. I'm slightly more comfortable with the small variations I put in the second refrain which stops it being a full repeat.

carole said...

I've read the villanelle again and i find 'throughout'slightly problematic. I put stresses on both syllables when I read it which end stops it so that there isn't a smooth enjambment to the next line. I also fail to read the punctuation when you put the question mark in the middle of the line. It's probably me at fault but the rhymes and the end stops are stronger.

Red said...

Carole you are right about the problems with this villanelle. It reads awkwardly because I have tried to be too clever with the altered punctuation and meaning of the repeated refrains. if you read it following the punctuation it no longer appears to be a poem, if you read it as each line being a unit then the meaning is lost.

Basically it's just problematic and unresolved. I enjoyed the challenge of the villanelle (only my second one ever) but I struggle with these sort of set forms. I don't like villanelle's which read as though the refrains just repeat without any meaning, but what I have tried to do here with the refrains doesn't work either.